


I've Become So Numb

by theloveofGreed



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Control, Deja Vu, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, M/M, Nightmares, POV First Person, Strangulation, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-13
Updated: 2013-07-13
Packaged: 2017-12-19 08:53:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/881862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theloveofGreed/pseuds/theloveofGreed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This was a challenge given to me by a friend/rper on aim. She wanted a Dark!Thor drabble with the following prompts: first person [Loki], intended death or suicide, mental anguish, and a snake. I think I hit all the bases. Took a few times listening to Numb - Linkin Park as well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I've Become So Numb

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own these guys. If I did I'd probably be in jail or prison ^_^. Marvel owns them, I just like playing with their stuff. <3

Another victory for Asgard's 'Golden Boy', Thor. How that name brings a bitter taste to my mouth. It didn't always repulse me. Once upon a time we laughed and played in the gardens in the main court. Now he goes off to battles while I stay behind like a shade of him. Is it wrong that I wish one day he never returned? I don't think it is. He is nothing but a spoiled, arrogant, reckless boy that was adored by many for his 'bravery'. I snorted watching him cry out in triumph holding the mighty hammer, Mjolnir, up over his head. I shook my head and stalked off into the shadows as I watch my brother celebrate. 

That look in his eyes, he is searching the crowd for me. He'll say he'd wish to receive a welcome home from me but I'm not foolish to not know his real intentions. He wishes to see me squirm like a worm torn from the ground. No. Not this time. I sighed as I felt that uneasy heat spread over my body then decided I've seen enough of that oaf. I hastily made my way to my chambers when I was stopped by his booming voice. 

" Where is my brother? I wish to see him." He called out to the crowd. "Loki!?" 

'Great.' I thought as I found myself unable to move. Soon I found my body betraying me as I turned around to walk within view of him. His stunning blue eyes caught my jade eyes and I could tell he was already stripping me. It wasn't just my armor his gaze stripped from me, it was my soul, my pride, everything. I found myself smiling to him with a slight head bow in respect trying for a distant and discreet welcome.

Oh no, that just would not do for him would it? He was walking over to me still waving to the crowd and all I could do was stand there and wait. As I thought, his strong hand held the side of my neck he knew still was sensitive and pulled me close. He knew I wouldn't dare defy him in the public eye as he chuckled.

"Brother. I have missed you. Why have you not come to battle with us? It was victorious as you can see!" The oaf chuckled.

" I was ill." A lie and he knew it. He squeezed the side of my neck and I felt the wound beneath the high collar open again. " But I recovered quicker than I thought. "

" My baby brother was sick?" He feigned concern. I knew he was but I played along with his game.

" Yes. I am well now. Thank you." I gave him a polite smile hoping this was all he wanted.

" Nonsense! I shall see you to your room!" He grinned taking my upper arm in his hand causing another wound to open. He pulled me along causing me to stumble some till I caught up with his hastened stride.

" Please, brother, I am fine." I wanted to be far away from him as I could right now. Anywhere but here. Even Valhalla or Niflheim would be better than right here at this moment.

I saw the door to my chambers nearing, looming over me like a venomous snake. All I could do now was pray to father's beard it would be over soon. It never was but it was a nice thought to have. I was shoved into my chamber as Thor followed then secured the door.

" I thought I told you not to leave your chamber brother." He walked over to me ripping my armor off. " The outside world is full of madness and corruption. It doesn't deserve something as pure as you." His hands traveled down my body as I looked away. 

" If I don't deserve to be out there then what makes you think you are worthy?" I spat at him in defiance. I was awarded with a sharp slap to my face.

" I am a hero. Corruption and Madness does not touch me." He proclaimed. " You will know your place, brother, no matter how many times I must teach you it." He shoved me over the table then I felt strong hands lift my tunic up and pull my trousers down.

I gritted my teeth and closed my eyes refusing to scream. I felt tears stream down my cheeks as I hidden in the darkness of my mind. Apparently this pleased him because his grunts and feral growls were becoming more and more. This was my place, in the shadows of my brother. I felt sicker and sicker with each position he moved me into. Finally I could take no more when I found my voice. It didn't matter how loud I screamed, no one could hear me. Or did they? Did they hear me but have left me to my fate? 

Some how my screams became quiet as I gasped. I felt light headed as my vision started to become marred with dark edges. My jade eyes looked up meeting the cold uncaring eyes of my brother then a smile ghosted on my lips. I soon felt the pressure on my throat and didn't fight it. I welcomed it. Anything was more welcomed than this. His lips pressed roughly to mine as it felt like he was trying to suck the life from me. Perhaps he was, my mind was too foggy to think. I felt my eyes slowly close.

I woke up gasping clutching my chest then looked around. Where was I? Oh I was in my room in my bed. I flopped back in my bed and chuckled. It was just a nightmare. I got up walking over to the mirror by my wash basin to inspect the healing bite marks. They were healing nicely. I washed my face then dressed. My blood froze when I heard the horns blow announcing the return of our warriors. 

It was happening again.


End file.
